You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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