spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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