I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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