Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
