"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
