I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
