u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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