just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
