Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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