Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
