I think I won the penis lottery.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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