All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
