bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
that may or may not have been my penis.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
