Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
