he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
