dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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