If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
