Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
