He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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