I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
