so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
