Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
