Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
