Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think a kid would responsible me up
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
