I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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