I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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