i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Less talking, more tequila
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This is the high leading the old right now
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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