And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
we should paint friendship bongs
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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