oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
