WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
