i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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