the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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