A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize