I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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