I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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