True but thats because hes a fetus.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
