He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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