I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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