So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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