She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
