At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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