Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
