went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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