IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
