The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
