"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
