what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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