we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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