Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
