Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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