before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
