either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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