the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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