i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize