Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
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