You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
