I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
