Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
