i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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