haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i drank out of a bidet.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
