I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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