I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
