i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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