so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize